UnxploreDimensions...

Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. -Pierce Harris

Remembering. I am half-smiling at ridiculous situations, crazy people and strange places, all with the benefit of hindsight. I admit I am choosing my memories selectively. I am quickening time, losing years and even improving my looks. I have never included the bad side which, I know, is an integral part of one's memories. That was not for me.

Once, I met someone.... a few years back... unexpectedly after a brief know-how kinds... over a hush-hush lunch on a warm sunny winter noon......... followed by a small drive. I get dropped at some place where I intended to meet some agency guys.
Waiving off hands ........ with a thought of never crossing roads with him again in life, I never expected to hear from him...
All of a sudden, I hear from him....... small interactions lasted for some time and then I relocated............and touch was lost forever.Period.

But again after some time destiny took me back to the same place... and the leaves of memories rustled in a known tune........ It lasted for few weeks with geographies playing a big role in creating distances this time........... and I was certain of taking it as a note of Gone Forever kinds.... with some really sweet memories........ But No, I was seriously mistaken..... the destiny had some other plans. Out of the blue, our thoughts crossed somewhere in spiritual plane it seems....... and there was a brief interaction with same old warmth, compassion and longing to add up.

And now..... I am being selective in choosing these memoirs to remember........b'coz it breeds a strange certainity......optimism and faith that miracles do happen in life.

There is a point at which everything becomes simple and there is no longer any question of choice, because all you have staked will be lost if you look back. Life’s point of no return.

Beete palon ke tukdon mein zindagi talaashti hoon
Zehan ke dard mein woh khalish ko paati hoon
Kabhi khud se aur kabhi duniya se khud ko milwati hoonn
Jism to yahin rehta hai magar dil kahin khoya sa paati hoon
Beetey huye palchinhon se apni pehchaan uthati hoon
Waqt ki silvaton mein khamoshi si utar jaati hai
Dil mein hoti shikayatein par..........
Labon par aakar jami se paati hoon

something which just flashed across the mind ..........

There are some things which I never want to leave behind...people we never want to let go......... but time makes us let go...............

Tera banega woh jo tera nahi hai.....
Aey dil bata kyun tujhko itna yakeen hai..............

And desires, which keep hovering my mind, refuse to spell out......

lab- e- khamosh se izhaar -e- tamanna chahe,
baat karne ko bhi tasveer ka lehza chaahe...............
tu chale saath to aahat bhi na aaye apni,
darmiyaan na ho hum bhi, yun tujhe tanha chaahe............
khwoab mein royein to ehsaas ho sairaabi ka,
ret par soye, par aankh mein dariya chaahe......................

My journey to a street called DESIRE has all kind of shades..........pleasant, ecsastic, nostalgic, terrifying and above all shocking......... Keeping myself open to life has added so much to discuss about that I donn fell short of instances where time has given me a reason to laugh, cry or rejoice. Leading to a ultimate bliss through small moments of happiness and disppointment....... is what a street called DESIRE is for me.

saans lete hue bhi darti hoon, yeh na samjh ki aah bharti hoon,
yeh bada aib hai mujh mein, dil mein jo aaye keh guzarti hoon.........

Certain relizations in life happen so silently that I donn actually sense them. They start digging deep in my heart, mind and soul..... and when it bleeds I wanna bravely hold it and say these things are part of life and keep appreciating and accepting what life brings to me.

And suddenly I wanna grow larger than life. I treat such instances with instant gratification and warmth. In turn my inner core depletes and all sensitiveness start evaporating. Then, making peace with what I AM, brings content with whatever I HAVE.

A person is never happy, except at the price of IGNORANCE. And Love...it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that itis inconceivable that you should never part. Because this is what Love is. It is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in Love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Committment is a line which one has to cross.............. it is the difference between Dreaming and actually DOING.

The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. The inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvellous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life.

Soona......soona man ka aangan
sooni.sooni man ki sargam..........
dhoonde geet tere humdam......
Kaise kaate sooni raatein..
kaho na..........kaho na......
Kaise bhoolein beeti baatein
Kaise thaamein, phir tera daaman
Kaise mehake, man ka yeh aangan
Kaise bhoolein, preet teri saajan
Kaise badhein toota yeh bandhan
Man mein shaam ho ya savera
Laga teri yaadon ka dera
Tune bandhan kyun yeh toda
Tune kahe kyun moonh moda
Kaho na................kaho na............

I choose to rise up out of that storm and see that in moments of desperation, fear, and helplessness, each of us can be a rainbow of hope, doing what we can to extend ourselves in kindness and grace to one another. And I know for sure that there is no them.. there's only us.
- Oprah Winfrey

I'm not sure what the future holds but I do know that I'm going to be positive and not wake up feeling desperate. It is what it is, it's not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is.

I wish I could say
I don't care,but I do
I love you even more than you ever knew
I wish I could cry but I can't,so I won't ,
I'm so deeply in love with you
I wish it weren't true ,
but it is even more,
since I've faced the fear of losing you before,
when it's all said and done,
there's just one thing more,
nothing really doesn't matter anymore,
except to remain madly in love with you

- By Paul Mc Cann

May be I am just hopeful........ too optimistic....brimming with life. Because I have to believe in something, so I did. May be I have developed a habit of falling in love with everything which comes across.... good or bad. Eventhough I know, it hurts.... and it will only bring in pain, I still go with trying almost everything in life. I keep my doors open believing, the BEST is still to happen.It is impossible to go through life without TRUST.

But there are times when people let me down, but these are the times when I need to trust my own intuitions and keep my life focused in believing in my dreams. Spirit of love is so profound and deeply intact in me, that it allows me to survive and better than that, thrive with passion, compassion and style. Till the time there is LOVE, I have a hope. If this is lost, only sufferring and confusion ensue.

Keeping myself vulnerable to emotions, has started taking it toll on me, but I deny to give up. Donno why, but I still keep believing......

Sometimes I wonder if you know
Exactly how I feel
We’ve held each other
And shared a kiss or two
But every time you walk away
I lose my heart n mind for you
You come to me when you feel bad
And everything goes wrong
Always expecting happiness
And to hear a cheery song
I sympathize and pull you close
And try to ease your pains
When the sun comes back, you are gone
‘Til the next time that it rains
I’ll always be here when you hurt
I know you know I’ll stay
But I’m not sure you’d miss me
If I ever went away
Friends in deed are a very rare find
Not too many stick it out through the good times and bad
Giving no cause to doubt
So don’t take that friend for granted
Tomorrow you may be alone
With no one around to listen you
And yearn for me like you’ve never known

A quick note,
A rushed phone call,
A smile from a photo taken far away.
Feeling that the one you love,loves you equally.
Germinate the seeds of longing,
A longing immense…never before felt
One that pulls at the heart without remorse,
Yet from the pain instilled,
Infinite pleasures are born
The thought of once again,
Holding you in my now empty arms
Memories of the sweet taste of your warm lips on mine
Remembering the scent of a far off love…
Anticipation of the moment our bodies will touch,
Entwined in a timeless moment of passion
These somehow subdue the longing…
Allowing the heart to continue its beat,
For the days of longing now grow short.

Pal pal tarse hum jis pal ke liye,
Woh pal aaya kuch pal ke liye...........
Socha us pal ko jee lein,
Par woh pal to ruka sirf kuch pal ke liye...........
Mehakti thi rooh jin tammanon se,
Woh sneh ras ab sookh chala chahton ke liye..........
Ankhiyon mein umad pade hain badal,
Par man ka angan ab bhi tarasta sawan ke liye............
Kore kagaaz sa yeh zehan,
Ek hi pal mein rang gaya jis ki aahat ke liye........
Pyaar mein jiske jee lein mar lein hum,
Silsilaye yeh kaise shuru kar gaya woh humhare liye..........

Har ghadi khud se ulajhana hai muqaddar mera,
main hi kashti hoon, khud hi mein hai samandar mera..........

kise se poochun ki kahan hoon gum main barso se,
har jageh dhoondta phirta hai mujhko ghar mera................

ek se honge mausam ke chehre saare,
meri aankhon se kho gaya hai manzar mera..................

muddat-ein beet gayee khwoab suhana dekhe,
jaagta rehta hai har neend mein bistar mera.....................

- Nida Fazli

tere hote koi kisi ki jaan ka dushman kyun ho
jeene waalon ko marne ki asaani de maula

Do aur do ka jod humesha chaar kahan hota hai
soch samajh-waalon ko thodi nadaani de maula
- Nida Fazli

Can we stop thinking ?
Can we start trusting people without being apprehensive ?
Can we believe in ghosts n fairies once again ?
Can we appreciate beauty on it's face value without digging deep into ulterior motives ?
Can we dare fall in love again and again knowing that it only brings pain ?
Can we keep aside our logic which come along with the conditioning we had undergone since ages ?
Can we for once throw away our pre-conceived notions and stop being judgemental ?

We tend to forget that happiness doesnt comes as a result of getting something which we don't have but rather of recognizing and appreciating that we do have....... We are so often caught up in our destination that we forget to appreciate the journey, especially the goodness of the people we meet on the way.

The destination of making things happen.......which are mutually agreeable....... pleasantly satisfying is definitely important but........... the ultimate desire of being there for each other is so significant, that I am ready to give up anything else. The comfortability factor, the open-ness with which two units interact, an un-hesitant approach without giving a second thought is something I appreciate and admire. Some tension is neccessary for the soul to grow, and we can put that tension for greater use. We can use it as an opportunity to appreciate each other's love and admiration.

Being selective in choosing people around us, and then to make things worse, not being sure of the charade one wants to take along........... we waste larger part of our lives in contemplating what is best for us.Too much of anything........... too much of thinking.... too much of freedom........ too much of restrictive-ness............. too much of surity or for that matter too much of dillema........... negates whatever special warmth would have been realised. If we surround ourselves with too many acquaintances, we may just miss the opportunity of knowing a few special ones closely. We may just ignore appreciating their unseen goodness.If we surround ourselves with "TOYS" we may never learn whom we really want to spend our life with.